How can I find myself if I can’t see the wood for the trees?

Sometimes finding a balance between coping with the strain of daily life, or a busy professional world, whilst (as I write in Jan ’21) homeschooling, and then trying to find quality time for fitness, socialising (yes, it will be a thing of the future), or just to be alone with no care in the world just doesn’t seem achievable. Read to the bottom to claim a free trial Pilates session with me!

Be Kind To Yourself & Shine 2021

I’m a pilates instructor, dance teacher, and I have also been a personal assistant for the past 20 years helping busy professional people streamline their lives so they have more time to think strategically, creatively and freely. Transfer this to streamlining lifestyle, homelife, and perhaps there are ways that we can find more time in the day, the week…and find the budget, to be able to have more carefree ME TIME: be able to afford more fitness  – being motivated by a fitness professional to help you achieve goals; to fulfil passions; or for activities, not just for ourselves, but to do with family or friends…

As a fitness instructor I quite often meet their inability to joining in my sessions of: ‘I don’t have enough time’. ‘I can’t afford it.’ And this makes me sad, people! So I got thinking, how can I help my clients overcome these ‘barriers to participation’, and also to remove the mental blocks which will enable them to ultimately attend my pilates sessions, where I take pride in my regular clients’ feeding back that they are so much calmer, or stronger for whatever physical demands of parenting requires? So here we go:

Here are my 3 top tips to work towards streamlining your lifestyle, including:

1. Planning with the household – shared accountability.

A problem shared is a problem halved. What can you share with the people you live with.  Some of us might take on chores/tasks without questioning whether we should be doing it, or if they could be shared with a child. If the child is younger, perhaps start planting the seed of helping around the home now…and make it fun or rewarding! Planning with the family and letting them have input might also increase the chance of their ‘buy in’ to sticking with their responsibilities – hopefully eventually becoming an automated behaviour without your input!

2. Get organised

A weekly planner that is filled out at the start of every week – could be electronic, perhaps on a shared, non-editable tablet, and printable – or it could be a wipeable weekly board displayed in one place in the household. Perhaps a 10 minutes Sunday powow with the family to work out who is going where, what needs to be done, what homework needs to be in, what childcare is needed for you to achieve your Me Time, and most essentially WHERE YOU WILL FIT IN YOUR ME TIME! Connecting organisational digital apps together too is also a brilliant way of planning – Office 365 is great to track tasks, emails, your to do list, prioritising, scanning important letters from school that you keep losing around the house.

3. Financial Planning

Get budgeting – plan your goals you need to spend on – it could be getting a 1:1 fitness instructor to motivate you to your goals.  it could be going kayaking and paying for a membership for a club. And it could be as longer term such as a weekend away with friends.  But plan the budget so you know there’s no additional barrier to getting your me time in.  It could also be something you’re saving towards with the family – something fun for you to do together – me time isn’t just about the time on your own – it’s also making space in your life fo care-free time with everyone, without thinking you should be doing something else.

I’m not generalising in my advice, as we all have different circumstances and home dynamics, and I know some of you will have streamlining your household down to a fine art. My tips are by no means the complete solution.  But I also know the struggles of, for example some single parents, and even if a small part of my suggestions can be implemented, hopefully it’s planting the seed for the chance of a marvellous future, where regular, perhaps even daily time to fulfil passions and hobbies, or sitting quietly alone for more than 5 minutes is a thing.

If you’d like a FREE trial online group Pilates session with Dancing Mama Fitness, complete the questionnaire below, so I can get to know more about the lifestyles of the ‘audience’ I’m speaking to!

Peace and love.


10 ways to help support mental health and wellbeing for parents

Whatever circumstances, working lifestyle, or lifestyle adaptations are currently being made given the latest government advice about social distancing during this period of disruption, a large chunk of the population, will probably find themselves with more time at home, and possibly, depending on the age of the kids and work status, with more time with the kids. As parents we’re going to need to be mentally and physically strong for ourselves and our families amongst the catastrophe.

Here are 10 things you can do to help boost your immune system and preserve your mental health and wellbeing whatever social distancing measures you’ve decided or have to take, or if you have to self isolate, that you can do with – or without (possibly after bedtime) – the kids!:

1 Work Out.

Working out boosts the immune system and massively improves mental health. 

For you: There is a mass of online fitness videos, or 1 to 1 personal workout instructors in a huge range of styles.  Virtual learning platforms will become our best friend over the coming months – technology is amazing. Investing in an online personal trainer, who can monitor your workout, will ensure you’re working out safely and to your strengths.

Listen carefully to the safe workout guidelines the online practitioners should provide. Take care, don’t overdo it to avoid injury, and always ensure you have approval from a physician if you feel unwell, have underlying, continuous health conditions, are pregnant, or have given birth within the last 6 months, on the type of exercise that is suitable for you.

For the kids: Cosmic Kids Yoga is fun for kids, and once you search for them, many other kids wellbeing channels crop up in the search!  

Watch this space for ideas for parent and kids work outs together from Dancing Mama Fitness…

At the time of writing (17.3.20) some of us can still get out – can still get to leisure centres.  They’re still open – providing you’ve done your own risk assessment for your health – support them!  The centres I teach in are heightening their cleaning routines and there is reduced attendance by members, so two metres apart from each other is achieved in most classes.

According to new information from Swim England, chlorine kills the virus, so we’re currently ok to go swimming.  The pools are pretty much empty too!

2 Walks in the wild

Nature, fresh air, greenery – exercise, walk, escape the confines of walls and bust some stress. Get some comfy walking boots or trainers and explore – walk far and wide with younger kids in a baby carrier (visit Wear My Babyfor a great collection), or take shorter walks to take time and educate the kids on nature or take a ball or frisbee.

3 Ramp Up the Self Love and Care

Take long baths, have a go at making scrubs and home made shampoos.  There’s so many blogs online, and we can’t necessarily go wrong if the ingredients are entirely natural and applied externally only of course (ahem!). Perfect opportunity to be more careful about the environment with less packaging as a result.

Also time to cook from scratch in mass production, if there’s not usually time to do anything more than bung a ready made meal in the microwave.  Cook with loads of immune system boosting fresh or frozen fruit and veg, and freeze stuff – loads of suggestions of recipes suitable for freezing online.  Read my Dancing Mama blog on Parent Baby Nutrition, Baby Led Weaning Ideas and cooking on a budget here.  Time to take control of what we’re consuming.

4 Meditate or Find Stillness and Breathe.

When our minds are a-jumble with so many different concerns, questions, possibly health issues too, it’s important to try to take some time out and try to switch the brain off. Guided meditation app subscriptions help spark motivation to practise regularly – I love Spotify or Insight Timer.  My little one loves New Horizon Holistic Centre Meditations on either app – I’ve been encouraging her to practise deep breathing (she’s 3 in June). There’s a meditation for everything!

This is Calmer has some good tips on breathing exercises and the benefits here.

Additionally, finding the right, focussed support online can give some really helpful motivation and guidance.  Check out Jane’s current Calmness In The Chaos campaign at Cherish, Transform and Upgrade Your Life’s Facebook Page

5 Read 

For you: Novels, fact, fiction, Motivational self help books, personal or business development…the list is endless.  Feed the mind! Audio books are a good substitute, but we’re more likely to try to multi-task whilst listening, arguably not giving the books full attention!

For the kids: My school friend’s son has started a Facebook page as he believes every child should have a book to read or read to them at night.  Check out Story Time By Max here!

6 Get arty or crafty

Do a quick online shop or support a local craft supplies retailer. Make a master piece. Adult colouring books are beautiful, and brilliant for the concentration.  There may be a craft or skill you’ve been wanting to have a go at. My mum told me I have to mention knitting – perhaps I’ll get her a YouTube channel of her own! Opportunities for being creative with kids are endless – find some inspiration here.

7 Dance, play and laugh

Crank up the tunes, dance with your partner/spouse, dance with the kids, sing really loudly.  That Saturday night out might be on hold for a short while.  We love finding different dance styles on TV, and my little one gets so inspired, lost in a ballet or a fierce contemporary dance piece.

Play is a great escape mechanism.  Lose yourself in a game – physical, strategic or silly games.  Can’t underestimate the joy of a play fight either!

8 Social Media Detox

Social media and technology will either make or break our society. I love this diagram from @From The Other Chair on Instagram.  

  • So hard to disassociate with all the chatter but with increased social distancing we’ll probably be looking at social media and technology far more frequently to communicate.
  • Conflicting evidence on facts could ultimately cause us more unnecessary stress as we consume so much conflicting info and so many different opinions. 
  • Our brains and eyes need a break – studies show that staring at a screen longer will reduce our melatonin, disrupting sleep.  
  • I’m also worried I’m staring at a screen too much and disengaging with my little one, so it will be nice for her to see me unattached from a phone for once!  

9 Socialise (Virtually)

The above said – use technology to help you gather all your best mates, kids, family into a Google Hangouts or Whatsapp video call every now and then from phones or laptops.  Have a virtual girls night in – try to still celebrate the birthdays, Mothers’ Day together. We can’t lose the ability to speak face to face and see expressions and laugh together.  It’s the greatest medicine.

10 Sleep!

Get to bed earlier, wake up earlier! 7.5 – 9 hours sleep is the optimal length of time for the body to really benefit (and kids need more).  Any shorter or longer is not healthy for the body.  Some of the greatest leaders and thinkers are said to do their greatest work early in the morning whilst the rest of the world is still sleeping. Another great blog post from This Is Calmer about the benefits of sleep.

Time for reinvention?

Imagine if this time of unrest is actually a wake up call for us, to re-evaluate our lives and relationships, shake up our bad habits and practises that don’t serve us, and is a gift to practise some self love and care… 

In a time of immense uncertainty in many aspects of our lives, my mantra lately: Where there is tension, there is reinvention.